The Odds of Las Vegas

Jan 18, 2006

Las Vegas is a “love it” or “hate it” sort of place. I’ve only met a handful of people who were indifferent to Her Charms or Harms. I personally fall into the “love it” category. Its not that I don’t see the terrible things that go on here, its that I believe that the good ultimately outweighs the bad. If you have a little self control, Sin City isn’t any worse than your home town, but chances are that its a heck of a lot more fun…

But, I digress.

For the record, I’m no Vegas expert – but I have spent a fair amount of time here over the last few years – 6 or 7 weeks over 8 or 9 trips – and my latest trip has inspired me to write what I’m calling “The Odds of Las Vegas”. I’m not talking gambling odds, but rather things that are odd, weird, ironic or just plain wacky. There’s a lot of them to mention, so I’ll get right to it…

Sin City apparently has more churches per square mile than any other city in the US.
For a place that is arguably the ‘Convention Capital of the World’, Vegas is very unconventional.
Here, Strip Clubs aren’t on The Strip at all.
For a place so completely situated around 1 stretch of road, it is nearly impossible to drive anywhere.
While most things here are extremely expensive, Valet parking is free.
The dealers actually want YOU to win.
Some people will bitch about the $200 they lost over a weekend at the tables yet they will pay $100 a seat for 90 minutes of watching weird French circus freaks in oddly adorned catsuits do highly unnatural things with their bodies right in plain view for everyone to see.
Others will rationalize betting cumulative thousands of dollars because they were ‘comped’ a $100 room for two nights.
For a place where “companionship” can be bought for less than 1 spin of the wheels on a High Limit Slot, it’s surprisingly lonely here without friends to keep you company.
The statement “I was at the crap table all day” doesn’t even raise an eyebrow.
Speaking of crap, the demand for watching French circus freaks is SO high here that three theaters of the stuff with multiple showings each are regularly sold out for days at a time.
The statement “Big nick on a 2-way yo” actually means something.
You can make “Blackjack” with two red cards, neither of which is a Jack.
The vodka tonic that was just delivered to you for free by a pretty lady in a bathing suit and fishnets would cost you $12 if you were to get up and get it yourself.
New York, Paris, Venice, Tokyo, Cairo and Fiji are all within walking distance of each other.
The Wynn Collection is a single hotel.
Did I mention the French circus freaks? I’m one of the people who wants to see them – AGAIN.
Walking from your hotel to a place “across the street” can take you a half hour and cover more than 3 miles of actual distance walked point to point.