Category — Funny

If you haven’t seen this before, it is awesome!

Happened upon this while cruising the net and had to post it.  Too funny!  Props to the great artist below…

Animator vs. Animation by *alanbecker

At work today, someone started an email thread asking if Jersey was a country or not.

If that strikes you as odd, you need to think Europe, not east coast USA.  Or, do you!?

As an FYI, Jersey is actually a small island in the English Channel right off the coast of Normandy, France.  It is neither part of the EU or the UK but rather, like the Isle of Man, is a separate possession of the British Crown. It has been at least somewhat associated with big banking and surreptitious money hiding, etc.  Anyway, my point here is not a geography lesson.

After a few jokes about money laundering, some confusion with Swiss banking and whether this place had any cows or not, I thought I’d set everyone straight about the subject and sent everyone the following email:

Wait, Swiss cows can’t be purple, they’re chocolate!  Its this reason that people confuse them with Jersey cows, because they can be brown too. But, it’s the Jersey cows that usually have the illegal money, are named Tony or Vinny and say things like “Bada Bing” and “capeche”.

Take a look at the picture below to get an idea of what they look like.  It should clear up any confusion.  Honest.

A Jersey Cow seen in its natural habitat.

Of course, props have to Barnyard for the original joke. Capeche!?

From the movie Barnyard

Sometimes less really WOULD be more.  But I’m certainly not volunteering to deliver THAT news…

Just saw this and thought it was not only funny, but largely true… 

An Experiment

Start with a cage containing five apes.

In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water.

After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result – all the apes are sprayed with cold water. This continues through several more attempts. Pretty soon, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes all try to prevent it.

Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes, which have been sprayed with cold water, have been replaced.

Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?

“Because that’s the way they’ve always done it, and that’s the way it’s always been around here.”

And that’s how corporate policies begin.

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asks about his bill and the barber replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you.  I’m doing community service this week.’  The florist is pleased and leaves the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning  there is a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to  pay his bill, the barber again replies, ‘I  cannot accept money from you.   I’m doing community service this week.’  The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a ‘thank you’ card and a doz en donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to  pay his bill the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you.   I’m doing community service this week.’  The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and many members of our Congress.

I know, I know..  I’m just not a dog person!

What can I say?

SNIFF.  If only this were a joke…