Category — Funny

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After it was all over and Noah lowered the ramp of the ark for all the animals to leave, he told the animals to “go forth and multiply.”
 
All the animals left except two snakes who lay quietly in the corner of the ark.
 
“Why won’t you go forth and multiply?” demanded Noah.
 
“We can’t,” answered the snakes. “We’re adders.”

to those who believe differently than I do about this topic.  I’m going to rant a bit…

I was just surfing a forum for some tech information and read a post by someone whose signature said:

__________________
The meaning of life? There is no meaning. You’re just a more complex carbon chain reaction than a dog, a tree, or an amoeba.

Now, I believe that God gave us free will and that this guy is entitled to his opinion.  No problem there.  I just think that it really must suck to live that way!  I mean, thinking that you are just an accident of chemistry, that there is nothing more to life than a complex happenstance of quirky molecular attraction.  How the hell can someone live like that?  How can you live thinking that there is NO meaning??  What keeps you from acting out every tiny whim?  Why don’t people like that stab their co-workers with a pencil when they whine during staff meetings?  How come they actually pay their taxes?  Why would you bother to do anythingother than exactly what you damn well pleased to at that exact moment?  See a hot chick?  Bend her over a barrel!  Like that guy’s car?  Hit him with a brick and take it!  It doesn’t matter! There is NO MEANING TO ANYTHING!

I can hear someone saying now – “Well, stupid, you don’t do that because of the consequences!  You’d get arrested, because in a civilized society people don’t do that to each other.  And those that do, suffer the consequences…”

Ok, good point, sounds good.  But think about it a bit more.  That means that society is the ultimate authority, the ultimate judge and the ultimate standard by which everything is measured.  We live our lives by society’s standards.  Isn’t that a “meaning” to life then?  Isn’t that what a “meaning” is?  If I say, “The meaning of life is to be happy” or “The meaning of life is to serve God” or “The meaning of life is to get rich” – aren’t those all things that one then judges himself by?  Am I happy?  Am I serving God?  Am I getting rich?  Meaning is a delineation – a mark in the sand whereby other things are judged.  So, if we say life has no meaning, but yet live in society, we are making society the ultimate authority and therefore the ultimate meaning.

Don’t you see how horrible that is?!  Society is the ultimate meaning!?  Are you kidding me?  All we live for is civil obedience?  Fitting in?  Keeping up with the Jonses?  Peer pressure is REALLY the best that it gets?

Society is the ultimate meaning???

How on Earth can that be?  Are you kidding me?  People really believe that crap?  Come on! Society produced these people:

And, even

I know, I know…  Not nice of me to throw that freaky drag-queen in with the picture of Hillary…  Oh, um, well um… Never mind.  *SNICKER*  (sorry, couldn’t help that! )

Anyway, my point is that society simply cannot be the paragon of existence and the ultimate achievement of life.  And, there MUST be meaning to life, because we all judge ourselves by something.  Even if you don’t believe in God – something is the lord of your life, and therefore it has meaning.  In fact, I really feel sorry for anyone who pretends that it doesn’t.  I think they are scared of reality with meaning, because they simply haven’t quite figured out what it is yet.  And, if they are wrong, there could be serious consequences.

In fact, I almost feel more sorry for them than I do for the goat pictured above.  No, not Hillary, the other one!  Ahem.  Really, I’m sorry. I’ll stop – honest, I will.  :D

Nifty title huh?

See, the title of this post should have been: “Translation Goes Awry” but, unfortunately, the clever folks at Asus Marketing got a hold of it first and we’re stuck with what you see up there…  In other news, here’s some of their more recent work:

As a self-professed tech-geek, I certainly DO like gadgets and hardware but really, I never imagined anything with a PCB could ever be “Heart Touching”.   Maybe they mean if you touch their products, you’ll get electrocuted?  THAT would certainly touch your heart!

Its a good thing their motherboards are much better than their marketing!

I guess my grade school suspicions were correct…  Girls do have cooties! :)

“Women have three to four times the number of bacteria in, on and around their desks, phones, computers, keyboards, drawers and personal items as men do…”

Get full story here.

In further news, a shocking realization that I no longer care that girls have cooties.  SIGH!  Women and their wiles!

I have to see what I can do about getting one of those installed on my stairmaster.  Hmm…

My brother-n-sister-n-law made an entry into the Star 98.7 $25,000 commercial challenge that is so darn funny, I’ll be amazed if they don’t win.

Check out the link here!