Category — Parenting

We’ve had two Compassion International kids for over a decade, and the experience has been fantastic.  They are a great group with a real heart for children.  Their work makes a material difference in the lives of the kids.

My cute CI Kids.

I love my 2 kids!  Uwimana is from Rwanda and a sweet, sweet girl.  She has struggled in school and hardship at home, but has come a long way from when we first sponsored her.   Helio is a handsome boy from Brazil who loves soccer and art.  He lives with his Grandmother and every letter from him comes with a beautiful picture.

Emily thinks of them as being a sort of brother and sister and sometimes plays with their pictures, making them talk as if they were really with her.  She mentions them often enough to let us know that their lives and struggles have had an effect on her, even at 4.

For a few bucks a month, its a great way to make a personal difference in the lives of people who really need it.

Compassion International

We were down in FL visiting H’s parents and we were able to take the boat out for a quick spin. Here’s a picture of Captain Emmy driving the boat - really. She’s pretty darn good!

An article at Ars Technica reports on a Chicago TV station’s claims that video games are like drugs - the station cites a social worker who says that as a result children are behaving worse than they did historically.

The Ars article pretty quickly dismisses the possibility, throwing it in with a pile of other emergent social phenomena that simply rubbed mainstream society the wrong way.  It then goes on to discuss if gaming can be truly addictive, discusses how addition itself is a poor word in general and ultimately finds that gaming is more on the order of an eating disorder or compulsive gambling than it is with heroine.

Its an interesting article to be sure, and outside of that, you can weigh many good and bad points relating to video games, but I’d like to take a quick step back and revisit the original claim made by the station.

Personally, I think that this is the drug manufacturer calling the dealer evil.  The average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day, compared to roughly 7.5 hours spent gaming all week.  Over 98% of all American homes have a television, yet only 50% of American’s play video games.  Are you seeing a trend here?

This TV station is really saying - “Hey, don’t let your fat-ass bratty kids play too many video games!  Polluting their brains is OUR job!”

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I like TV and I like video games - you don’t have to read my blog for long to know that about me.  But it can be appalling the content that is available in both mediums - allowing your kids to be exposed to some of this stuff, when it is questionable if you should be exposed to it is simple lunacy.

But, I think we all know that.  A kid shouldn’t be playing a game like Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas in the first place - if you disagree, then you deserve how your children turn out.

My first point is more along the lines of what TV can put into the mind of a child.  There are very few cartoons out there where the parents are even somewhat helpful, let alone play the part of the heroes.  Usually, parents are the bumbling, can’t-be-trusted type that everything needs to be hidden from - be it a secret lab, or a failed test.  “Keep it away from Mom and Dad!”  The parents in many shows are downright stupid, with the kids being the ones who always have to set them straight.  “Thank goodness for that upstart 7 year old!  She’s so spunky!  HAHA!  Good stuff!”  No, not good stuff.  Fathers tend to fare the worst - they’re almost always stupid or angry or petty or square or…  You get the picture.

What does this do to our children?  It programs them for 4 hours every day that Mom and Dad don’t have the answers, aren’t worthy of their respect and certainly don’t require obedience.  Then they turn around and look at us and realize that the TV is probably right! We don’t have our crap together - 50% of us are divorced, of those that aren’t, large percentages are fighting, cheating or working too much.  Kids come from broken homes, have no father or no mother, or even worse, have 2 mommies or 2 daddies.  Even us Christians don’t fare well in these areas - we’re all messed up too!

Raising kids isn’t easy, especially in a two income family - but don’t blame anything or anyone else for how your children turn out.  To be sure, there are a few extenuating circumstances, but the overwhelming majority of disobedient, disrespectful and ill-adjusted children are directly because of a lack of interactive parenting not because of a presence of interactive gaming or crappy television.

While most people would agree with that statement, we still have the social trends to prove that they don’t act on it.  Why? Because it’s HARD work.  It’s longsuffering work.  And for many in society, there are no clear guidelines to follow.  We do what sounds good… Sorta.  Really, we do what feels good, which usually equates with what’s easiest and gives the least amount of friction.

Isn’t taking the “easy” way out practically synonymous with not doing the right thing?  Why then, do we parent that way?  I believe it is a lack of wisdom.

In the greatest book of wisdom ever gathered, Proverbs, there is a passage that has long caused uproar and consternation among many more “enlightened” parents - “spare the rod, spoil the child”, or more correctly:

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. (Proverbs, 13:24)

This is often misunderstood and used by weirdoes on both sides to prove completely dissimilar points, neither of which are correct.

In ancient times, a Hebrew man would keep a “rod” or a walking stick.  As he aged, he would carve memories and stories from his life into the wood, creating a repository of everything that he had lived that was worthy of regard.  In a sense, the rod was a container for his wisdom - that which his life had taught him. It would indeed also be used for more mundane things, as any walking stick or staff would be, discipline included.

The point is this - don’t beat your children indiscriminately, but discipline them with careful wisdom, love and understanding.

This doesn’t just mean corporal punishment, but giving them true discipline, in every sense of the word.  Discipline to do things like NOT watch 4 hours of disrespectful television every day.

So, how do we get the wisdom necessary to properly discipline our children?  I believe it starts with God.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. (Proverbs 9:10)

And he said to man,
       ‘The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.’ (Job 28:28)

This isn’t a fear that invokes cringing terror, but rather a spirit of awe, humility and dependence upon our creator.  We learn wisdom by acknowledging that God is who He is - GOD.  By accepting His divine authority and working to understand Him, we gain more wisdom.  Doesn’t this make sense?  The more we acknowledge and understand the creator of the universe, the more we understand how to interact with His creation?

Wisdom is then used to properly discipline our kids so that they aren’t the disobedient, disrespectful and ill-adjusted little children that we all can’t stand and are terrified of raising.

Am I saying I have this all figured out?  Heck no!  I’m learning every day, mess up often, and seek counsel from two different friends that I deeply trust, who have already raised their children in a Godly manner and who have the RESULTS that I would like to see with mine.

So, who is more to blame for the breakdown of juvenile society? The people that cram our children full of disobedient, violent, “kids always know better” images for 2 full months out of every year, or the people who make games that give you more points for screwing hookers and shooting police officers in the head for only half a month out of every year?

Obviously neither - it’s the parents.

gaming, parenting, Christianity, TV