He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,”Case dismissed!”

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, “Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, “But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant.”

The lawyer said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists.”

The judge said, “The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God.’

“Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day.

“Court is adjourned.”

HAHA!  No, of course this isn’t true – just funny!    Why do they always pick Florida as the place that these crazy things are supposed to have happened?

Yet, this is going a bit far.

Are these people actually praying to Obama?  Either way, in my opinion, a line has been crossed that should have been left alone.

One could argue that this is a satirical farce and is meant to make fun of the process of faith and prayer, but I don’t think so.  The Gamaliel Foundation’s mission is “to assist local community leaders to create, maintain and expand independent, grassroots, and powerful faith-based community organizations so that ordinary people can impact the political, social, economic, and environmental decisions that affect their lives;”

On the surface, that sounds good to me – aligning our governance with our morals and values.  I’m sure that scares others.  The question is faith in what?  The Gamaliel Foundation seems adamantly ecumenical in its charter and in this instance I believe they have made a mockery of faith in their attempt at inclusion.  Using a Christian liturgy makes this only more so.

Dare I quote Christian scripture warning against this kind of thing? Yeah, I dare.

Isaiah warns us of putting our ultimate trust in people rather than God:

Stop trusting in man,
who has but a breath in his nostrils.
Of what account is he?

Isaiah 2:22, NIV

What gives me more pause is the description of the consequences of this form of hubris:

The arrogance of man will be brought low
and the pride of men humbled;
the LORD alone will be exalted in that day,

and the idols will totally disappear.

Men will flee to caves in the rocks
and to holes in the ground
from dread of the LORD
and the splendor of his majesty,
when he rises to shake the earth.

In that day men will throw away
to the rodents and bats
their idols of silver and idols of gold,
which they made to worship.

They will flee to caverns in the rocks
and to the overhanging crags
from dread of the LORD
and the splendor of his majesty,
when he rises to shake the earth.

Isaiah 2:17-21, NIV

Heaven help us then…

If you’d like to watch more of this event in context, see the “official” version of it below.  While it does outline more of what they believe in regarding healthcare reform, it isn’t materially different than the above video.  Somehow I don’t think their views are what the founding fathers meant in the “Life” part of, “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The amazing Danny Gans

It was with an unexpectedly deep sadness that I read about the passing of one of Las Vegas’ most influential and talented entertainers – Danny Gans.

After several attempts to see his show, my wife and I caught Danny’s show just this past February.  It was truly amazing…  He was a master showman.  What impressed me the most was not his singing or impressions (which were truly phenomenal in their own right) but, rather it was that he was truly interested in giving the best show he could to every single audience.  He worked us continually – changing on the spot to what we responded to best.  He jumped around decades in his music trying to find what would resonate most for us, and it worked…

His show was great – REALLY great.

I was very touched during his tribute song to his family and his stories of all the support they gave him during the tough years of travel prior to hitting it big in Vegas.  I actually had seen him nearly 15 years prior in Worcester, MA at the old Colosseum.  He was funny then too, but I didn’t fully appreciate who he was at the time.  It wasn’t until many years later, seeing his picture on big board at the Mirage, that I put 2 and 2 together.

I was also very touched that he was so transparent with his faith.  From his direct testimony during the show to doing little things like pointing to the sky while singing lyrics like “Who can make the sun shine?” during Bojangles, there was no question that this man loved his God.

It is inevitable when something like this happens to start to wonder – how can God let this happen?  Why would He take a man that truly loves Him and leave behind a family that will forever be changed by the passing of a loving husband and committed father?

This is where our faith comes in…  We either believe Romans 8:28, or we don’t.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

It is hard in the face of such tragedy to remain faithful, but it is to for our betterment that we do so.  Rather than questioning God and his motives, we would do better to examine what would we have done without our faith during these tough times?  Faith in God and in Christ isn’t a free ride.  It isn’t all bubblegum, pink stars and dancing ponys.  But, if you remain committed to your relationship with Him you are guaranteed that whatever happens, God will eventually work it for your good.  In His time.  It likely won’t be evident until much later, but it will be evident.  Don’t think that means – EASY.  Many times in life, the RIGHT thing and the BEST thing isn’t easy at all.

I’ve used the analogy that our lives are like a fine tapestry in the process of being woven.  We see the tapestry from the back and typically have an ugly view of a myriad of knots and threads making up a nearly incomprehensible intersection of color and texture.  Yet, every once in a while God treats us to a view of the front, where a beautiful picture is being woven through our faith and obedience to the Weaver.  We just don’t have the full picture, and we either trust God in His ways, or we don’t.  I’m not saying that we can’t be sad or scared or upset – that is a very natural response.  Fortunately though, we don’t have to be.  We have also been promised the Peace of God, which transcends all understanding and that will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  I think that is my favorite verse of all time.  It means that we can face inexplicable hardship and still somehow through the Love of Christ, be at Peace.

I pray that Danny’s family can place their trust in God and can somehow find that Peace during what will likely be one of the toughest time of their lives.

For Danny, I pray that he hears the words that all Christians want to hear upon meeting their maker – “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

My cute CI Kids.

I love my 2 kids!  Uwimana is from Rwanda and a sweet, sweet girl.  She has struggled in school and hardship at home, but has come a long way from when we first sponsored her.   Helio is a handsome boy from Brazil who loves soccer and art.  He lives with his Grandmother and every letter from him comes with a beautiful picture.

Emily thinks of them as being a sort of brother and sister and sometimes plays with their pictures, making them talk as if they were really with her.  She mentions them often enough to let us know that their lives and struggles have had an effect on her, even at 4.

For a few bucks a month, its a great way to make a personal difference in the lives of people who really need it.

I was shocked and saddened at the news about Heath Ledger.  I knew very little about the real man, but I was a big fan of his work.  He always seemed like a very nice person on screen.  After talking with a gentleman that knew him first hand, I now know that it was an accurate representation.  He was described by this person as “Very kind… A brilliant artist.”

I pray that God grant Heath’s family and friends His Peace, which transcends all understanding, at this extremely tough time…

Seriously, I’m not joking. In my entire life I can literally count on one hand the number of people that I’ve met that I didn’t like. And, if I’m honest, the number is really only one person that I just couldn’t get out from under my skin.

Its true. Only one person in over 3 decades. Isn’t that amazing? Oh, I freely admit that there are some people that I like spending time with less than others, but thats just natural. The other? Not so natural.

A very good friend of mine said to me today, “Andy, your greatest strength is that you love people very easily.”

He’s right, I really do. In fact, its easy if you know how to.

You can do it too.

Seriously! Wouldn’t you like to be able to take almost every annoying jerk in your life and somehow turn them into a New Them? A Them that you can get along with, learn to like and eventually, maybe, even one day love? Who wouldn’t want that!?

The secret is maddeningly simple when you know it.

When I start to get to know someone I simply think to myself:

What was God thinking when He made them?

I’m sure you’ve met some people that have made YOU think that too, right?! Seriously though, I really don’t mean that in a funny way. I mean it with all sincerity.

I picture the Master Craftsman sitting in His workshop with a handful of new clay, pondering the beauty of the raw material of life. As His hands start to mold the clay, all of His Love and blessing pours into the form as he works it into a shape unlike any other ever created. His thumbs mold the face, and his fingers set the nose just so. He places the eyes in the exact way that He means them to be and He knits the strands of their being in a way that make complete sense to Him. He even numbers the hair on their head, each one having its place and purpose for that which He has called them to be – for what He is creating them to be, right before my eyes! Then, when the outside shell is ready, His Word breathes life into them and makes their spirit in His image. He creates them just like Him – He the Father and they the children. He knows each challenge and fear they will face; each triumph that will make their spirit soar. In His awesome wisdom, He knows and Loves this new creation and desires nothing more than a deep relationship with it. He wants to be loved by it in return.

REVELATION!

That jerk is the object of God’s desire!

Have you ever worked with someone, or known someone that is a hard and tough person most of the time, but then you see them with their kids and a new person leaps out of their eyes? They smile, they joke, they goof around and make funny noises and for a brief moment, you can see the love that they have inside finally come out on the outside.

That’s what I’m talking about. I envision the Love that God has for that person and try to see exactly what it is that He loves about them. Is it their laugh? Their heart? Or maybe its the kind of weird way that they stick their tongue out when they are concentrating on something. How many ways does a Parent love His child? It is nearly immeasurable. All you need to find is just one. One will make a huge difference in how you see that person.

Sure, with some people it is harder than with others. Some people take a bit of effort, but the more that you do this, the easier it is. We are called to be more like Him, and He is love.

Would you like another small revelation? God Loves His children and therefore they are lovable! Isn’t that alone an amazing thought? The person that you can’t stand is LOVED by someone! Loved by God, if by no one else. If you try to see someone from His eyes, it is hard to not like them.

This attitude really can help in everything – in family life, with friends, with coworkers, with neighbors – everywhere!

I know, I know… Some of you probably think that this is a childish and stupid philosophy. That’s really OK with me. You can live your life however you would like. In fact, I believe that you have a God given right to choose to live with those jerks and hate every minute of it! The choice is really up to you. There will always be jerks in your life, but how you choose to view them can really change how you feel about them.

Me? I’m going to go spend some time with some of my other friends…

This is beautiful…

I was just surfing a forum for some tech information and read a post by someone whose signature said:

__________________
The meaning of life? There is no meaning. You’re just a more complex carbon chain reaction than a dog, a tree, or an amoeba.

Now, I believe that God gave us free will and that this guy is entitled to his opinion.  No problem there.  I just think that it really must suck to live that way!  I mean, thinking that you are just an accident of chemistry, that there is nothing more to life than a complex happenstance of quirky molecular attraction.  How the hell can someone live like that?  How can you live thinking that there is NO meaning??  What keeps you from acting out every tiny whim?  Why don’t people like that stab their co-workers with a pencil when they whine during staff meetings?  How come they actually pay their taxes?  Why would you bother to do anythingother than exactly what you damn well pleased to at that exact moment?  See a hot chick?  Bend her over a barrel!  Like that guy’s car?  Hit him with a brick and take it!  It doesn’t matter! There is NO MEANING TO ANYTHING!

I can hear someone saying now – “Well, stupid, you don’t do that because of the consequences!  You’d get arrested, because in a civilized society people don’t do that to each other.  And those that do, suffer the consequences…”

Ok, good point, sounds good.  But think about it a bit more.  That means that society is the ultimate authority, the ultimate judge and the ultimate standard by which everything is measured.  We live our lives by society’s standards.  Isn’t that a “meaning” to life then?  Isn’t that what a “meaning” is?  If I say, “The meaning of life is to be happy” or “The meaning of life is to serve God” or “The meaning of life is to get rich” – aren’t those all things that one then judges himself by?  Am I happy?  Am I serving God?  Am I getting rich?  Meaning is a delineation – a mark in the sand whereby other things are judged.  So, if we say life has no meaning, but yet live in society, we are making society the ultimate authority and therefore the ultimate meaning.

Don’t you see how horrible that is?!  Society is the ultimate meaning!?  Are you kidding me?  All we live for is civil obedience?  Fitting in?  Keeping up with the Jonses?  Peer pressure is REALLY the best that it gets?

Society is the ultimate meaning???

How on Earth can that be?  Are you kidding me?  People really believe that crap?  Come on! Society produced these people:

And, even

I know, I know…  Not nice of me to throw that freaky drag-queen in with the picture of Hillary…  Oh, um, well um… Never mind.  *SNICKER*  (sorry, couldn’t help that! )

Anyway, my point is that society simply cannot be the paragon of existence and the ultimate achievement of life.  And, there MUST be meaning to life, because we all judge ourselves by something.  Even if you don’t believe in God – something is the lord of your life, and therefore it has meaning.  In fact, I really feel sorry for anyone who pretends that it doesn’t.  I think they are scared of reality with meaning, because they simply haven’t quite figured out what it is yet.  And, if they are wrong, there could be serious consequences.

In fact, I almost feel more sorry for them than I do for the goat pictured above.  No, not Hillary, the other one!  Ahem.  Really, I’m sorry. I’ll stop – honest, I will.  :D

Three Things to Think About

1. COWS
2. THE CONSTITUTION, and
3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years and we’re not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse……..You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians –it creates a hostile work environment

“If we all have to leave this world someday, then life is meaningless right?”

That’s the crux of everything, isn’t it?

As you can probably guess, I fall into the “life is short, therefore it is meaningful” camp.

Every day that I get to wake up and kiss my wife, hug my daughter and smile at a friend is one more day that is worth living. To say otherwise is like saying that because a movie ends, that it isn’t worth watching, or that a book isn’t worth reading because it has a last chapter, or that because you eventually finish the ice cream cone, it just isn’t worth eating.

No, I must disagree. Ice cream is always worth eating.

And life is always worth living. It must also then be meaningful, as only things of consequence, things of value, things of worth are meaningful.

When something desirable is scarce, it becomes MORE valuable, not less.

And, I haven’t even touched on the more spiritual aspect of God’s eternal purpose for us…

Sharlet was ruminating about an old friend that she had lost touch with, who has now come back in her life espousing a new-found Christian faith. The friend seemed to be practically begging her to come to an Easter service, or more likely a Passion Play outlining the life of Christ. Sharlet found it strange and dismaying, and I daresay even a bit insincere, given that this friend declined to meet with her a different day, saying that she was simply busy.

While I find the actions of her friend nearly criminal given what her probable intent was, I think that this is an all to common occurrence. I believe that, of late, the Christian Church is focusing too much on evangelism, and not enough on discipleship. We have too broad a focus on saving EVERYONE, without ever seeming to really CARE for anyone. I don’t blame Sharlet’s friend – most likely she is simply doing as she seen others do – but I do blame our modern church culture.

Sharlet’s friend cares about her, and doesn’t want to see her miss out on salvation – yet she doesn’t seem to care enough to reintegrate herself into Sharlet’s life, love her for who she currently is, or to be there for her on a regular basis by being a consistent example of the transforming power of God’s love. Indeed, so far Sharlet has only seen what appear to be NEGATIVE aspects of the transforming power of God’s love.

Is that the message that her friend meant to convey? I highly doubt it – but our church culture doesn’t focus on this, it focuses on numbers, which I think is sad and borderline idolatry.

Anyway, I did feel compelled to respond to her post, and to the comments made by several of her readers, in an attempt to explain why her friend seems to have gone crazy. Please, let me know how I did…

My response:

So, I’m going to be the odd person out here, as I’m a Christian, and I’d like to comment on not only your post Sharlet, but also some of the comments of your readers… I want to apologize up front to anyone that I may offend with my words, please know that it is certainly not my intent or even my desire.

Sharlet, I’m glad that you mentioned that your thought your friend did what she did because she cares – I think that is most likely true. However, I have also seen Christians do similar things, not out of love, but out of cultural pressure from their fellow Christians to evangelize. Unfortunately, it is a very common trait of people who have lost the “spirit” of the Biblical message to the over-religious tendencies that plague many modern Churches. Anyway, that’s a subject for a different time…

I’m not going to try to “convince” you to believe in Christ – while I would be thrilled if you did, I only want to take a shot at explaining why so many Christians seem to go nuts and turn into annoying gnats that buzz around your head and just won’t go way.

Imagine this – (and forgive me if you’ve heard this before) – you wake up one day to find out that there has been a terrorist attack on your town. Somehow, a biological weapon was exploded in the air over the town center, and EVERYONE has been infected with a deadly virus – your parents, your lover, your kids, the neighbors, everyone. But not you…

To add to this problem, a side effect of the virus is that no one knows that they’ve been infected. For some reason, you were spared. Now say that you happen to be an expert in biological warfare – you are able to quickly develop a remedy for the virus, and you are ready to go out and administer the antidote.

How would people react to you wanting to stick them with a needle, when they don’t think they are sick?

“What do you mean a terrorist attack? I haven’t heard anything about that… Its not on the news, and no one else seems to be sick either. Maybe its you! You are the one that needs help!”

In fact, along these lines, they will probably try to get away from you as quickly as they can… Even the people that know and love you may not trust you and may wonder if you need help.

The problem is that if you DON’T stick them with that needle, they are going to die. Can you, at least for a brief moment, suspend your disbelief enough to FEEL the calm panic that can start to rise in you? YOU aren’t infected – you’re OK, but everyone around you is going to die if you can’t somehow convince them to let you give them the antidote.

Well, as far fetched as that scenario may seem to you, this is very similar to what happens to a new Christian. We believe that God created humans and because of the introduction of sin, we were separated from him. God is perfection, and no imperfection can be with him. How then can we be reunited? God can either change his rules – which he doesn’t do, because he is constant – or the price for our sin can be paid. Because he loves us, he found a way to pay the price for all sin from now through eternity – he gave himself, in the form of Christ, as the payment. But, because he gave us with free will, he won’t pay our debt unless we ask. Asking presupposes a few things: 1) us acknowledging that their is a God, 2) that we are separated from him, 3) that we don’t WANT to be separated from him, 4) that there is a debt to be paid to end the separation and 5) that we can’t pay that debt ourselves.

Loose any one of those points, and a person telling you that God will pay your debt appears very much as you did trying to administer an antidote to someone who doesn’t know they are infected.

Now, you may be thinking – well, yes, but that sounds really stupid. In fact, it sounds as stupid as the terrorist story that I made up above.

OK – you can certainly have that opinion. But, for the sake of argument, is it really any more far fetched than anything else? Basically we are saying that there IS a supreme being, and because it created us, it actually has an interest in us. Like any parent, it cares about our actions, and about our eternal welfare.

Is this more far fetched than paganism, where many spirits guide or interfere with our lives? Is it more far fetched than believing in reincarnation, where you die and come back again and again like a big bottle stuck in a recycling nightmare? Is it more far fetched than thinking that there is NO higher power, and that we are completely a fluke of science – a random happenstance created by the exact right interaction of possibly thousands of different environmental factors?

I don’t think so. In fact, I have yet to find a single world view that did not require a strong FAITH in SOMETHING. And, at that point, it is hard to point to a single faith and say it is more outlandish than another. Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that because these world views are equally outlandish, that they are all true, or even all false. I’m just saying that they are equally “crazy” when you examine the real belief. As I think you know, I believe that only one is correct – that only one CAN be correct – why? Because they are mutually exclusive – if I’m right, then someone else is wrong, and vice-versa. The “this is MY truth” doesn’t hold up to even the smallest amount of scrutiny because 1+1 can’t be 2 AND 3 at the same time.

Again, I don’t say this to convince you that Christians are right, but rather to explain why things appear as they do. Our beliefs may seem weird to you, but honestly they are no more weird than your own.

What do you think? Is my explanation right? What do you think of her friend’s actions?

This topic dismays me, because I feel like most of the church is actually pushing away more people than it is attracting, and I know that was not God’s intent. AND, if that is true, it means that God isn’t even in the work that we are doing, which is more than just a sobering thought.

On a Christian forum recently, a member was having a deep crisis of faith.  At first, he reached out asking for help to restore his faith in God, but a few questions later it was revealed that what was really bothering him was the age old dilemma of premarital sex.  He and his girlfriend, both Christians, were trying to figure out if they were going to take “the next step” in their relationship, and it created the crisis at hand.

“How can God give me such strong desires and then deny me their satisfaction?” - was essentially the question.  They love each other, intend on getting married (though they are not officially engaged) and, of course, are deeply attracted to each other.  What should they do?

Now, something shocked me about this issue.  Not the issue itself, but rather people’s response to it.  I was shocked at the number of people (all Christians) who wrote in and basically said, “Hey, if you love each other, profess that to God and then you are married, so have fun and be safe…”.

I was equally shocked at the number of people who wrote in saying, “It’s a sin, don’t do it.  God said don’t, so don’t.”

What kind of advice is that?  “Hey kid, don’t worry about it!” and “Just don’t!”  One is flat out wrong, and the other is about as helpful as a rock to a drowning man.

Now, I want to start off by saying that you will find no personal judgment from me on how you have chosen to handle this topic in your life. I’m not even making a statement on how I chose to handle this.  My response to this panel was for the benefit of this confused young man and simply reflects truths that I’ve come to understand about God and about relationships.  Some of you may recognize a paragraph or two from a previous article I wrote on sin in general, but this one specifically tackles premarital sex.

Anyway, here is my advice.

—————————————–

Shotfire, let me tell you something that most people won’t tell you.  By having sex before marriage, you aren’t loosing your salvation, you aren’t going to go to hell – and, in fact, you’ll probably enjoy it.  At first.

See, God doesn’t tell us to NOT do this just to be a killjoy – He has our best interests at heart.  It saddens me that many people think of God as a stodgy bummer that simply has it in for our modern lives. “God just doesn’t want me to have any fun. I can’t have oodles of wild sex with anyone I meet because GOD doesn’t want me to. I can’t lie my way out of any situation because GOD doesn’t want me to. I can’t shove a fork into the eye of the guy that just cut me off on the freeway because GOD doesn’t want me to.” 

It wasn’t until I had a child of my own that I finally started to understand that God doesn’t need us to not do these things. He tells us to not do these things because it would be better for us if we didn’t. Its just like me not letting my daughter play with the sharp knives on the table – I know that she is going to hurt herself by doing it. Is it any different with God?

No, I don’t think you’ll go to Hell for cheating on your taxes, but you might go to jail.  The same is true with premarital sex – the world won’t blow up, and you won’t loose your salvation, but you may regret it forever.

Unless you actually DO go ahead and marry this girl, you will regret this decision for the rest of your life.  If you think you will end up married, go ahead and marry her now.  Why wait?  If there are reasons enough to wait for marriage, there are reasons enough to wait for sex.

God designed sex as both a spiritual and physical thing – when you have sex with someone, you give them a piece of yourself – no pun intended.  This is true in the physical as well as in the psychological and spiritual sense.  You will give a piece of your soul to this person, as she will to you.  For a time, you BECOME ONE.

Now, say you DON’T end up married for any number of reasons; you will never be whole again.  You’ve become one with another person, and separating tears you apart – part of you goes with her, and part of her comes with you.  Now, when you meet the RIGHT woman, you won’t be able to give yourself to her completely, and neither will your current girlfriend.  Pre-marital sex practically GUARANTEES that you will be holding something back from your eventual spouse.

And, then what is to stop you from doing this again, if you two break up?  Now, you’ve already HAD sex, so what’s the big deal?  You’ll then have sex with your next girlfriend, and so on, eventually leaving pieces of your heart scattered around as if it wasn’t the most precious thing you had to give…

Would you like a spouse that is hiding a past from you?  Do you really want her to NOT hide it from you?  Would you like a spouse comparing you to other lovers she’s had?  How would you like to be comparing your spouse to previous lovers?

God didn’t intend us to have this knowledge, not for HIS sake, but for ours.

I know that the desire for sex can be almost unbearable at times – trust me, I’ve been there.  But this is a pain that WILL go away, at its proper time.  If you make a poor choice now, you’ll have a pain that will never go away.  Which would you prefer?

Is it easy?  Hell no, but neither is risking your future.

—————————————–

What did this young man decide to do?  I think for now he may have decided to wait.  He responded with:

Wow. Thank you so much Milo. You really got me thinking. I now have a different outlook on this. Thank you so much. You may of just saved someonethere [sic] life.

I wish him the best of luck with his choice, as both options can be very tough.  A quick word - no, I didn’t forget about all the other “practical” reasons for waiting: unwanted pregnancy, disease, etc.  I figure those are a given, whereas the spiritual aspect may not be as clear.  From the response of many on that board, I have to make that assumption.  This is too serious for a “don’t worry about it” attitude, I don’t even want to touch on the “you are married in God’s eyes” deal, and “Just don’t” simply doesn’t help.  If it did, there wouldn’t be the dilemma in the first place.

Anyway, I do know that these people meant well, so I can’t be too upset with them.  Well, maybe I’ll touch on the “married in God’s eyes” issue in a later post… 

What if I didn’t Wait?

Now for the next hard question – what if one doesn’t wait until marriage, what then?

Some of you may be out there thinking, “Hey, I didn’t wait, and it isn’t so bad…” and others may be dealing with the issues that I raised in my advice to Shotfire.  They may seem to be mutually exclusive outcomes, but really they aren’t.

Some people won’t be affected by this as much as others – but that is a crap shoot at best.  You may not be, but what about your future spouse?  If you are married and haven’t found this to be an issue, praise God for his grace in both of your lives!  He can heal all wounds, and this is no exception.

BUT, He won’t necessarily shelter us from the consequences of our choices.  To those of you who are struggling with these pains, I would say this – have faith in God’s goodness.  He is in the business of taking the worst things that can happen and working them for the good – and this is far from “the worst” thing that can happen.  Trust in His love for you, accept His Peace that truly does transcend all understanding, and then ask for grace, healing and His will to be done in your life.

Why ask for His will, rather than just straight healing?  That’s a whole other topic for another time, but for now I’ll say that while submitting to His Will doesn’t guarantee a bump-free ride, I can promise you that the final destination will be much better than had you decided to drive yourself.  He may yet be using these struggles to prepare you for His divine purpose – maybe to strengthen you for other inevitable struggles, or simply to build in you character and wisdom that will one day play a pivotal role in someone else’s life.

At the end of the day, His choices are much better than ours – as is evidenced by the fact that He warned us to not do this in the first place – so, let’s acknowledge that in our prayers.  Even Jesus prayed this way – “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39)

Anyway, I hope that this helps someone.  I know a lot of it is counter-culture, even for many Christians.

Happiness – Contentment – Peace

Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.
Prvb 23:17-18

Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Heb13:5

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:7

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Prvb 17:22

Wealth/Prosperity

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way, they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly Life.
1 Tim 6:17-19

But remember the Lord your God, for it is He that gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.
Deut. 8:18

Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless.
Ecc 5:10

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.
Col 1:10

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.
Psalm 127:1

All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Prvb 14:23

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
Phil 4:12,13

And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:19

Success

What you decide on will be done, and light will shine on your ways.
Job 22:28

Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work – this is a gift from God.
Ecc 5:19

Wealth and riches are in his house, and his wealth endures forever.
Psalm 112:3

Humility and fear in the Lord bring wealth and honor and life.
Prvb 22:4

Courage/Strength

“Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”
2 Kings 6:16

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Isaiah 40:29

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.
Psalm 31:24

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9

Comfort

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.
Nahum 1:7

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 55:22

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say: “Here am I.”
Isaiah 58:9

Healthy Marriage

A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
1 Corinth. 7:3

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Prvb 5:18

Health and Long Life

Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning.
Job 11:17

Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come.
Pslm 71:17,18

Walk in all the way that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.
Deut. 5:33

“With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
Psalm 91:16

For through Me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.
Prvb 9:11

Faith

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
James 1:5,6

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and become convinced of, because you know those from whom you have learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
2 Tim 3:14,15

We live by faith, not by sight.
2 Cor 5:7

“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.”
Mark 11:22,23

Patience

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Gal 6:9

We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.
Hebrews 6:12

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4

Release from Fear and Worry

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear; I will help you.”
Isaiah 41:13

“But whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.”
Prvb 1:33

Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.
Prvbs 3:25,26

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
2 Tim 1:7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6,7

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her.”
Luke 10:41,42

Guidance

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
Isaiah 30:21

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
Prvb 16:9

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Prvb 3:6

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
Isaiah 42:16

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward will take me into glory.
Pslm 73:23,24