Category — Spirituality

God’s Word, if spoken, never returns void. That’s why using scripture during prayer time can be very powerful. Here’s a few scriptures that may help focus your next session

Happiness – Contentment – Peace

Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.
Prvb 23:17-18

Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Heb13:5

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:7

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Prvb 17:22

Wealth/Prosperity

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way, they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly Life.
1 Tim 6:17-19

But remember the Lord your God, for it is He that gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.
Deut. 8:18

Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless.
Ecc 5:10

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.
Col 1:10

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.
Psalm 127:1

All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Prvb 14:23

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
Phil 4:12,13

And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:19

Success

What you decide on will be done, and light will shine on your ways.
Job 22:28

Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work – this is a gift from God.
Ecc 5:19

Wealth and riches are in his house, and his wealth endures forever.
Psalm 112:3

Humility and fear in the Lord bring wealth and honor and life.
Prvb 22:4

Courage/Strength

“Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”
2 Kings 6:16

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Isaiah 40:29

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.
Psalm 31:24

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9

Comfort

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.
Nahum 1:7

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 55:22

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say: “Here am I.”
Isaiah 58:9

Healthy Marriage

A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
1 Corinth. 7:3

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Prvb 5:18

Health and Long Life

Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning.
Job 11:17

Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come.
Pslm 71:17,18

Walk in all the way that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.
Deut. 5:33

“With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
Psalm 91:16

For through Me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.
Prvb 9:11

Faith

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
James 1:5,6

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and become convinced of, because you know those from whom you have learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
2 Tim 3:14,15

We live by faith, not by sight.
2 Cor 5:7

“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.”
Mark 11:22,23

Patience

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Gal 6:9

We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.
Hebrews 6:12

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4

Release from Fear and Worry

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear; I will help you.”
Isaiah 41:13

“But whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.”
Prvb 1:33

Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.
Prvbs 3:25,26

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
2 Tim 1:7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6,7

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her.”
Luke 10:41,42

Guidance

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
Isaiah 30:21

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
Prvb 16:9

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Prvb 3:6

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
Isaiah 42:16

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward will take me into glory.
Pslm 73:23,24

It is with some trepidation that I even post this here on my blog, but ultimately I believe it is a valid apologetic on the dangers of relativism as a world view. A debate on digital piracy is the vehicle of its delivery.

** Warning **

What follows is a long “discussion” with a member of a gaming forum that I belong to. It is point-counterpoint on an in depth conversation. Is it worth reading? I don’t know, I certainly felt it was worth writing. Normally I don’t get into things like this, but I was baited and couldn’t help myself. Its the only thing that I regret about the entire thing.

It started out innocently enough – I was browsing a topic looking for some information regarding a bug in a new game that I recently purchased. The tide of this particular topic turned to a debate regarding ditigal piracy – basically if pirating games is “OK” or not. I was literally in the midst of thinking “Oh, the crap you find on these stupid forums when someone brought the argument to a whole different level.

The line that hooked me was: “What are you, the typical bible pusher republican who thinks laws are above anything else?”

What? Huh? I jumped from my late night induced half-coma and without thinking, hit REPLY.

In the posts that follow, items in italics are things that the poster is quoting from someone else.

Here is his initial post in its entirety:

Stealing = Wrong.No gray areas.No, that’s wrong.
What are you, the typical bible pusher republican who thinks laws are above anything else?
There are plenty of fricken gray areas.A poor man stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family: Right or Wrong?Take some college level morality and philosophy classes, then get back to me.And the one thing that all you “Pir4t3s are EVil!111!” people never understand is this: I personally only download games that I’m unsure of whether or not they are going to be good. If I like it I always go out and buy it. If I do not like it, I delete the game from my hard drive and do not go out and buy it.

The thing you fail to see here is that Lucasarts or Petroglyph do not lose money at all.
If I don’t go out and buy it because I tried and disliked it there is no money to be “lost” because the money wasn’t even there in the first place.My method of pirating is the ultimate one because it’s bulletproof and “morally acceptable”.
It’s simple…if I like the product they’re offering I reward them by buying it always. If I don’t like the product their offering I don’t buy it.
So you jumping on my back about this is the same as saying Lucasarts lose money on car enthusiasts because they don’t know anything about games, so they don’t buy them.If a pirate chooses not to buy a game there is no money lost, because it’s as if this particular pirate was a person who never even knew about games in the first place…so he wouldn’t buy it.
How many times does this need to be said?Obviously the companies lose money on big scale pirating rings who produce huge amounts of CD/DVD’s and sell them illegally on the software black market.But as long as every pirate (on a personal level, not multiple people) followed my model the game companies would not lose a single cent, ever.

And now for my response:

Wow, that was rude and uncalled for…

How would you feel if someone called you a typical elitist democrat snob, whose belligerent air of supposed intelligence is really just a paltry cover for blatant humanist relativity?

Well, even if I step into your world of elastic morality, your comments are still ill mannered and ill thought out.

Look at your elitist attitude:

“Take some college level morality and philosophy classes, then get back to me.”
“My method of pirating is the ultimate one because it’s bulletproof and ‘morally acceptable’.”
“But as long as every pirate (on a personal level, not multiple people) followed my model…”

Beyond that, your argument is horribly flawed. First, it is convoluted by the fact that you still refer to yourself and others as pirates, indicating a basic nature of taking what isn’t yours. Second, you say that you always go out and buy each game that you enjoyed – the problem here is that you are the only one setting the standard. While I’m sure this fits quite nicely into your “everything’s relative” world-view, it just isn’t a realistic mark by which things can be properly measured. Doing as you please and changing the rules to accommodate your whim simply won’t work in a complex society.

In reality, you have NO idea what games you would or would not buy if you didn’t have the opportunity to pirate them for free – you can’t know, because you aren’t in that situation. You can speculate, but you could easily be wrong. If everyone followed your example, as you suggest, chances are that many of them would also get it wrong, resulting in a real loss for the game companies. And, a real loss for them will affect the entire industry because of basic economic reasons – taking utility without reward isn’t good for either side in the long run.

The simple fact of the matter is that piracy is stealing – you may not agree, but I’m sure that Lucas Arts and the authorities in most countries would agree. You are trying to claim that stealing is OK in this particular situation because you want to try the game before you pay for it. I can understand your desire to do this and fortunately for everyone, most game companies understand this desire as well and provide demo versions of their software for this exact purpose. By what logic does your desire for evaluation give you carte blanche to step outside of this mechanism? Who are you to do as you please with someone else’s property?

Also, frankly, your choice of example in proving that gray areas exist – a starving man trying to feed his family – is simply in poor taste and denigrates those who really are hungry every day. You stealing a video game is hardly on the same level and besides being thoughtless, the hyperbole does nothing for your argument anyway.

People who speak in shades of gray never want to admit that at the ends of their spectrum, there is STILL black and white. Gray is impossible without them. To be sure, there are gray areas in life; this just isn’t one of them. Just because you feel justified in taking what doesn’t belong to you, doesn’t mean that it isn’t stealing.

In fact, the only people who can make that determination with 100% accuracy are the folks at Lucas Arts – because the software is their property. And, I think you know what they would say…

He then responded with a few posts that frankly raised my opinion of him quite a bit. I still disagreed with much of what was being said, but at least he started being civil. I won’t reprint his posts in their entirety, as I get most of them as quoted points in my response. If you REALLY want his complete posts, I’d be glad to send them to you, but I highly doubt any of you are that masochistic. Anyway, this is ME responding to him on the second go around.

To start, I would like to say a few things… First, I’m very glad you responded. Normally I stay out of these things, but I just couldn’t help myself. Call it poor judgment at 3:00am. Anyway, I was feeling that I had been too harsh on you, and I see now that you took my argument for what it was and not as an attack. I tried very hard to debate your points, not attack YOU.

Second, as you pointed out, I’m delighted that you have changed your tone and attitude to a level of civility and respect that is so often lacking in these forums. For that alone, I heartily applaud you! For what it’s worth, you have raised my estimation of you quite considerably, even if I still disagree with a number of your points. It’s only through respect and honest debate that those of differing minds can ever come to common ground.

Now, to still point out the error of your ways.

The funniest thing is that in the post below yours he actually admits to being one XD

He did, didn’t he? Still, I don’t think you were saying it with good intentions, now were you?How would I feel? Not that bad really, then I would correct you by saying that I’m not a democrat (some issues democrat, some issues republican), and that my intelligence is not “supposed” ^_^

I agree that these monikers are somewhat difficult to confine oneself to, but in a 2 party system it is what we are left with. Conservative and liberal are probably more descriptive, as they at least are more to the point. A republican like Schwarzenegger is vastly different than a Reagan, yet they are both called the same thing.And come on man, don’t harp on relativity

Ah, but I must, because it is at the heart of the issue. This is our disagreement, nothing more. You are doing something that when measured against your relativism, is permissible, even though it directly violates a core belief of most productive societies. You’re right, now that I peruse through it, it seems a bit elitist! It’s easy to go into “elitist” mode on Gamefaqs, where 60% of the population are uneducated 14 year olds who think they know everything.

HAHA! Ahem. Well, despite being less than respectful, I probably have been caught saying something like that on more than one occasion, so I’m the kettle and you are the pot.

Quite frankly I believe a certain degree of elitism is justified, if you think I’m bad you haven’t been around the boards much XD

Hey, are you using a non-sliding scale here? Hmmm… It appears that your elastic-measuring stick does indeed have its limits! But more seriously, I would say that these follow on posts have given me a much better overall opinion of you. While your original comments are a bit over the top (even to your own admission), I do not think that this is your demeanor in general – and for that, frankly, I’m thankful! Semantics.
If I call us: “Moral relativists confined to a certain category within the capitalistic machine” would you be happier?
No, wait! We’ll just call pirates “Care bears” from now on.

Well, yes it is semantics, but they are important in any debate – if we aren’t talking the same language then our meanings are lost upon each other. Most of the world views a pirate as someone who takes what isn’t rightly theirs, so in that frame, I guess I would be happier if you spelled out your definition.Never did I claim to speak on everyone’s behalf. No, but you advocate that everyone does the same thing.

I’ve repeatedly stated that I’m only for this kind of thing if people go out and buy the games to support good companies.

Again, the problem is that your definitions are subjective – that won’t work in an argument like this, as your solution must work for both sides. Oddly enough, though you seem to chafe against “the capitalistic machine”, it provides exactly what you are looking for – a way to reward those companies who provide content that you appreciate and a way to punish those who don’t. The only thing is that your relativism puts a wrench in those workings, as you are the sole judge of when you pay for utility, regardless of the rights or desires of the providing company.

I was talking about me specifically, and as long as I set this standard for myself, I have the personal moral high ground.

Maybe that allows you to sleep at night, but in the end it is meaningless – the rest of the world views your actions as illegal. I can say that 2+2 is 5, but it doesn’t make it so. Your “moral high ground” is nothing but a pile of sand that won’t hold up to the weight.I’m an regular member of society who works and contributes just like everybody else. I abide by societies laws that are actually important for its functioning and well being of its inhabitants. Just because I pirate a game now and then doesn’t mean I “do as I please” and change the rules to “accommodate my whim”.

I don’t doubt that you feel that you are law abiding “where it counts”, but your statement also again proves your convoluted argument. You acknowledge that you are abiding by CERTAIN laws, laws that you deem important for the well being of society’s inhabitants. Those that you deem unimportant, you have no qualms about sidestepping. Exactly how is that not “doing as you please”? You are claiming that you are doing nothing wrong, yet you are (at your own admission) violating certain decrees of the land in which you live. How is that not sidestepping the rules to “accommodate your whim”? The only reason why you say this is because you have not experienced any consequences of your actions. That doesn’t mean they aren’t wrong.Relativism naturally leads to the decay of organized society. You say it’s OK to pirate software, and your neighbor says it OK to take your TV. You may not agree with him, because he is robbing you of the use of it, but that doesn’t matter, because he is using HIS relative scale of morality and simply disregards yours. Now you can’t watch TV and it’s your own logic that did it to you. Society only works if we all play by the same rules. I know – I can hear you now saying that a game is only a “copy” and no one else’s utility is removed by your use of it so the TV analogy doesn’t fit. I’ll get to that in a minute, but for now all I will say is, here you go again using a definition of what is permissible based on your own tolerance for social irresponsibility. I could have easily used an argument of stealing cable, or something like that, but I chose not to. I specifically use the example of a TV because I must push you to the point of getting to something that you DON’T agree with, so that you can see how things look from my side of the argument. You can see how relativism doesn’t work in my example because it directly robs you of something that is rightly yours. But, that’s the problem with relativism as a world view – it then applies to EVERYTHING. You can’t take it out and use it only when it serves your purpose – your fellow man, who is most certainly not guaranteed to be altruistic will simply do the same thing, and in many cases your desires are at odds with each other. What then?

Do you really want a relative society? I highly doubt it, when you think about what that truly means in the long run.I beg to differ. I would still be the same person would I not? I would still read reviews, have the same tastes, know what games I would buy and wouldn’t buy. And if by any chance I didn’t even play games because I couldn’t pirate them, well…the game companies would never get my money…instead of getting it most of the time. Yes, you may be the same person, but your situation would be greatly changed. Now, games that you are on the fence about, you simply pirate and make your decision about after the fact. In the absence of pirating, there is a very good chance that you would buy games (because of curiosity or simple desire for entertainment) that you would never pay for after you have pirated a copy. You simply use the game and determine if it meets some arbitrary, changing level of quality based upon how you feel that day – but if you couldn’t do that, you would end up spending money on things that you later regretted. Thus my point about you speculating…You’re right, I can’t expect the masses to be as smart and methodical about this as I am ^_^
But seriously….I’d say that if they at least tried to follow my model we would decrease game industry losses by 70% or more. Agreed, I would certainly rather have a pirate who does try to reward the companies that make good games rather than one who simply screws everybody at will. I’m not arguing that. I’m arguing that your ability to judge what you would pay for in the absence of piracy is highly suspect, and as such you are robbing game companies of their rightful consideration.Of course the authorities and the publishers would agree, they’re the ones getting my money

Or not, as the case seems to occasionally be.

Let’s just go halfway and say that piracy is a slightly less than legal way of aquiring something, but not full blown stealing, the property rights of IP can be debated (We’ll get to this later).

Ok, I’m sorry, that makes me laugh. Classify the crime if you will, but one can no more be “slightly illegal” than one can be “slightly pregnant”. It is one or the other, and unfortunately for your argument, this is one area where you simply don’t get to choose. Your only recourse is where you choose to live…Correct. They do offer demos, usually containing about 20%… …fleshed out demos that I just go by the demo and don’t pirate.

We’ll get into this when we talk about IP, but suffice it to say that it is up to the game company to decide how it will demo its product. Make your decision solely on this, because that is what they choose to give you. If you do so and still get burned, you’ll know better next time when you consider a game from that company. Just because some companies hide crappy games behind less that revealing demos, does not give you the right to pirate their product. You get to vote with your dollars, that’s your only right.Not to mention my piracy is very limited because I never stray from my own genres and I don’t play games that often, I’d say I pirate a game every 6 months. That’s a discussion for another time though.

Honestly, I suspected that it was fairly limited… But, see my previous statement about being “slightly pregnant”. Tsss…not once did I equatestealing a loaf of bread for your starving family to aquiring a luxury good such as a video game. It’s simply a means to show that gray areas exist, it doesn’t matter how different or exaggarated the variables are.
Obviously this kind of proof for gray areas is needed, as evidenced by our cute little republican who posted after you Ah, yes… I knew your intention when you made the reference; I just wasn’t feeling charitable at the time. The point that I was getting at was that it doesn’t make your case for you at all, and is therefore useless. Why doesn’t it make your case? Because the man is still stealing. Yes, we can understand his choice because of the extenuating circumstances, but that doesn’t change that he has broken the law. It’s just that the extenuating circumstances make it so that his actions are understandable. A court would probably convict him of the crime and commute his sentence. This isn’t a gray area at all. This happens all the time, even in business – companies are convicted of crimes and fined $1.00 usually because there wasn’t an intention to disobey the law. On either front, this doesn’t help your argument – you don’t have extenuating circumstances, and it IS your intention to disobey the law.Correction: Their intellectual property. They don’t own anything tangible. This is a debate that’s raged for eons.
All that’s being “stolen” is information, add to the fact that we aren’t removing something from someone elses possession and you’re going to have a hard time labeling it as “OMG THEFT!”.
Again I feel the need to reiterate that when a pirate, pirates a new version of this information is spawned from nothingness. It never existed beforehand. Nobody has lost their property in any way shape or form.
It’s more akin to borrowing a car, putting it in a fantastic machine that makes a perfect clone, and then giving the car back, the car salesman never lost a cent and he’s free to go about his business.
Now of course you’ll say: “Well if everybody did that the car salesman would go out of business!” Ah, yes indeed, but remember what I said? I’m following my formula here, and I don’t condone wide scale piracy as in selling millions of burned CD’s for 2 cents (Asia and Russia I’m looking in your direction), that is what hurts the industry you see…not an American college student getting a game from the Internet once in a while.

OK, now to this issue. Maybe it’s because you haven’t graduated yet, and that you have more classes to take, but your understanding of IP is limited at best. I don’t say that to be rude, but rather as trying to understand where you are getting such a, hmm…twisted…view of IP law. I’m not happy with the word, but I can’t think of another one at the moment. Anyway… This has not been a debate for eons – the rights of IP holders are not debated. What constitutes IP can be debated, and fair use can be debated, but the rights of those who have IP are not in question. Even ask the Free Software Foundation, one of the most aggressive groups when it comes to relaxing IP rights – they don’t argue the rights of a software manufacturer to their IP, what they want is for it to be freely useable. Even THEY grant a LICENSE, which is proof positive that IP rights are here to stay. How else could society function? To not do so would be to completely remove the primary incentive for progress in many sciences.

And, don’t think that the two items that are open for debate offer you any help. Pirating a game doesn’t fall into either debatable area, so this really doesn’t help your argument at all.I’ll continue to try and show you why you aren’t making any sense using your own analogy of cloning the car.What about the person who researched, funded and manufactured the fantastic machine that you used to clone the car? You may not be robbing the person who provided the car to be cloned, but you are most certainly robbing the person who took the risk of developing the machine to do it. They did so fully expecting to be compensated for the use of their property and you haven’t done so. Even if the incremental cost of you cloning the car is nothing to the machine’s owner, it doesn’t change the fact that you wanted the cloned car and you didn’t pay for the right to USE IT.Bringing it back to reality, this is actually a good segue into software End User Licenses. When you “buy a game”, you don’t in fact own the game at all – you only purchase the right to USE it – the software remains the property of the company that manufactured it. The fact that you choose to ignore the law of the land is again incidental – you are stealing the “right to use” that someone else is expecting to be paid for. They invest time, effort and money into making the software and are taking a substantial risk by doing so. That is why they expect to be compensated for the right to use their property.Can you see how your argument crumbles in on itself? The same thing can be said about sneaking into a movie theater to watch a film in a half filled auditorium, or stealing cable from your neighbor’s line, or a number of any other scenarios like this, where you are sidestepping the grant of a “right to use”. It’s all stealing.And don’t think that your actions don’t have consequences – I’m not talking about you going to jail or being fined, though that may happen one day. I’m talking about the fact that many IP holders are now fighting back by attacking what we DO have the right to do, which is make a facsimile of the IP as long as it falls into “fair use”. That’s what the entire “Digital Rights Management” is all about – attacking fair use. They don’t want me to be able to copy the content that I have a right to use, because they are afraid of you stealing it. If they weren’t afraid of that, they wouldn’t be going down this road.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I don’t support IP holders in that fight. I think its wrong on many fronts, the least of which is shackling the legal user because of the actions of the illegal.\

My point is more to show how your actions are not done in a vacuum and do indeed have real world consequences, even if you don’t feel them just yet.I’ll be as rude as I want to be towards the “lessers” that deserve it…. Ahh, and you were doing so well! Haha!Nice talking to you anyway (seriously, I enjoy a good debate)… Now on THAT we agree. P.S. Miloandrew deserves even more praise after I just discovered that he’s a gamespotter…I was amazed that such a well thought out, readable post could be made by someone of their kind.
Pleasantly surprised my friend…pleasantly surprised At least you ended well. Seriously though, thank you for the compliment. I’m glad that we can have a discussion like this. Nothing bothers me more than people who can’t back up their positions with a well thought out apologetic. Even though I don’t agree with a lot of what you have said, I sincerely applaud you for stepping up to the plate to make your case and am glad that you consider me your friend. The feeling is officially mutual. While I have no right to do so, I would like to ask a favor – please thinkabout what I’ve said before simply reacting to it. If you do, I think you’ll see that your initial argument really does fall apart under the strain of required proof. There is no harm in that, nor is there harm in having the initial belief. There is harm however in continuing to espouse something that is known to be wrong simply because you can’t humble yourself to say that you were initially mistaken. Empires have fallen to the hubris-ate-nemesis cycle – I hope you don’t.

I’m not saying that you have to agree with me – I’m just asking you to be completely sure you that you don’t, before you respond.

Well, kudos to you if you read this far. Point made.

An article at Ars Technica reports on a Chicago TV station’s claims that video games are like drugs - the station cites a social worker who says that as a result children are behaving worse than they did historically.

The Ars article pretty quickly dismisses the possibility, throwing it in with a pile of other emergent social phenomena that simply rubbed mainstream society the wrong way.  It then goes on to discuss if gaming can be truly addictive, discusses how addition itself is a poor word in general and ultimately finds that gaming is more on the order of an eating disorder or compulsive gambling than it is with heroine.

Its an interesting article to be sure, and outside of that, you can weigh many good and bad points relating to video games, but I’d like to take a quick step back and revisit the original claim made by the station.

Personally, I think that this is the drug manufacturer calling the dealer evil.  The average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day, compared to roughly 7.5 hours spent gaming all week.  Over 98% of all American homes have a television, yet only 50% of American’s play video games.  Are you seeing a trend here?

This TV station is really saying – “Hey, don’t let your fat-ass bratty kids play too many video games!  Polluting their brains is OUR job!”

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I like TV and I like video games – you don’t have to read my blog for long to know that about me.  But it can be appalling the content that is available in both mediums – allowing your kids to be exposed to some of this stuff, when it is questionable if you should be exposed to it is simple lunacy.

But, I think we all know that.  A kid shouldn’t be playing a game like Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas in the first place – if you disagree, then you deserve how your children turn out.

My first point is more along the lines of what TV can put into the mind of a child.  There are very few cartoons out there where the parents are even somewhat helpful, let alone play the part of the heroes.  Usually, parents are the bumbling, can’t-be-trusted type that everything needs to be hidden from – be it a secret lab, or a failed test.  “Keep it away from Mom and Dad!”  The parents in many shows are downright stupid, with the kids being the ones who always have to set them straight.  “Thank goodness for that upstart 7 year old!  She’s so spunky!  HAHA!  Good stuff!”  No, not good stuff.  Fathers tend to fare the worst – they’re almost always stupid or angry or petty or square or…  You get the picture.

What does this do to our children?  It programs them for 4 hours every day that Mom and Dad don’t have the answers, aren’t worthy of their respect and certainly don’t require obedience.  Then they turn around and look at us and realize that the TV is probably right! We don’t have our crap together – 50% of us are divorced, of those that aren’t, large percentages are fighting, cheating or working too much.  Kids come from broken homes, have no father or no mother, or even worse, have 2 mommies or 2 daddies.  Even us Christians don’t fare well in these areas – we’re all messed up too!

Raising kids isn’t easy, especially in a two income family – but don’t blame anything or anyone else for how your children turn out.  To be sure, there are a few extenuating circumstances, but the overwhelming majority of disobedient, disrespectful and ill-adjusted children are directly because of a lack of interactive parenting not because of a presence of interactive gaming or crappy television.

While most people would agree with that statement, we still have the social trends to prove that they don’t act on it.  Why? Because it’s HARD work.  It’s longsuffering work.  And for many in society, there are no clear guidelines to follow.  We do what sounds good… Sorta.  Really, we do what feels good, which usually equates with what’s easiest and gives the least amount of friction.

Isn’t taking the “easy” way out practically synonymous with not doing the right thing?  Why then, do we parent that way?  I believe it is a lack of wisdom.

In the greatest book of wisdom ever gathered, Proverbs, there is a passage that has long caused uproar and consternation among many more “enlightened” parents – “spare the rod, spoil the child”, or more correctly:

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. (Proverbs, 13:24)

This is often misunderstood and used by weirdoes on both sides to prove completely dissimilar points, neither of which are correct.

In ancient times, a Hebrew man would keep a “rod” or a walking stick.  As he aged, he would carve memories and stories from his life into the wood, creating a repository of everything that he had lived that was worthy of regard.  In a sense, the rod was a container for his wisdom – that which his life had taught him. It would indeed also be used for more mundane things, as any walking stick or staff would be, discipline included.

The point is this – don’t beat your children indiscriminately, but discipline them with careful wisdom, love and understanding.

This doesn’t just mean corporal punishment, but giving them true discipline, in every sense of the word.  Discipline to do things like NOT watch 4 hours of disrespectful television every day.

So, how do we get the wisdom necessary to properly discipline our children?  I believe it starts with God.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. (Proverbs 9:10)

And he said to man,
       ‘The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.’ (Job 28:28)

This isn’t a fear that invokes cringing terror, but rather a spirit of awe, humility and dependence upon our creator.  We learn wisdom by acknowledging that God is who He is – GOD.  By accepting His divine authority and working to understand Him, we gain more wisdom.  Doesn’t this make sense?  The more we acknowledge and understand the creator of the universe, the more we understand how to interact with His creation?

Wisdom is then used to properly discipline our kids so that they aren’t the disobedient, disrespectful and ill-adjusted little children that we all can’t stand and are terrified of raising.

Am I saying I have this all figured out?  Heck no!  I’m learning every day, mess up often, and seek counsel from two different friends that I deeply trust, who have already raised their children in a Godly manner and who have the RESULTS that I would like to see with mine.

So, who is more to blame for the breakdown of juvenile society? The people that cram our children full of disobedient, violent, “kids always know better” images for 2 full months out of every year, or the people who make games that give you more points for screwing hookers and shooting police officers in the head for only half a month out of every year?

Obviously neither – it’s the parents.

HAHA!  My Dad just forwarded this to me – certainly a prayer that I should live by…

Please God,
Put your arms around my shoulders,
and your hand over my mouth.

Amen.

Indeed!

Just came across a post about a guy named “Mad Mikey”, a US Navy vet who suffered a bad stroke recently.

His loved ones are asking for some help with donations.

Now, I don’t know this guy, and the entire time I was reading the story, I was thinking, “Hey, I’d love to help, but who knows if this guy is real or not?”

Then it hit me – if it’s all a lie, then its not TRUE.  Meaning that there isn’t a person going through this tough time, and there isn’t really a family hurting like this.  And my thought wasn’t “yeah, so I got ripped off…”, it was, “Oh, thank God that that isn’t happening to these people…”

That’s when I knew that sending some money, no matter how little, was the best thing to do.  Now, call me a sucker if you will, but if this is a real story, then the money will help and if its not a real story – well, I would have paid a lot more than this to have it NOT be true anyway.

God bless you and your family Mikey, real or not…

—

I used to have this same problem giving money to people on the street.  My thoughts were always along these lines: “They are just going to turn around and buy alcohol or something else that will continue the destructive pattern that got them to this point already…  Why help them hurt themselves?” or “These guys are just lazy and won’t go get a job, so why give them money?” or even “These people make a ton of money fleecing the rest of us hard working people.”

Then God changed my heart on this in a big way.  After a time of my own financial hardship, God told me in that still, small voice that is always there if you listen for it – “You take care of the giving and trust Me to take care of how it’s received…”

Now, that’s a different story entirely.

Today would have been my mother’s 58th birthday… I say would have been, because she passed away 4 years ago, from a brain hemorrhage while my brother and I were on a plane coming to say our last goodbyes. We never got to say them.

Death is a hard thing.

It’s so completely final… It’s hard to get your head around – the concept that this person is now gone. A mother, a daughter, a wife – gone. One minute they are there – embodying all the memories, thoughts, emotions and love that has filled a lifetime and then a breath later all that slips quietly away.

But, it’s like a pebble tossed into a still pond – the ripples that are created touch the furthest shores of our lives. First there are the immediate effects – all the affairs to put in order, the funeral, all the stuff to go through, a car to sell, an estate to settle… Then when you think you’ve come through the worst of it, the real changes start to sink in.

Holidays are different. Family gatherings in general take on a new equilibrium, as roles and responsibilities are absorbed by those who remain. Traditions change or evolve or even fade away. A recipe for a cake or a pie is gone – or even worse, just not the same. The ingredients are there but something just isn’t right – it’s not the way you remember it. How the heck did she make it taste like that? It’s a little thing, but it’s changed forever.

In fact, a complete history is simply gone – you can’t just pick up the phone and say, “What was the name of my 3rd grade teacher… You know, the one who told me I breathed too loud?” Part of who you are seems less real. The things that you shared with that person become more…hollow…as if the spirit of the memory has died with the person. “Did we rake the leaves first, or was that after we had lunch, I can’t remember…” You’ll never know for sure.

The worst of it is that this slow fading cascades down the generations. Answers to questions about my family – names, people, places – complete happenings and roots that set me up to grow to where I am today, died with my grandmother. And precious memories of my grandmother died with my mother – things that I either never knew, or just didn’t remember when I was told because it didn’t seem important at the time. The ripples reach the furthest shores, but eventually the pond becomes still once again.

And yet for all this lost memory, what hurts the most, I think, is that she never got to meet my daughter. She never got to hold Emily, or see her laugh or had the chance to teach her all the things that she taught me. Yes, it’s the memories that won’t ever happen that hurt the most.

Death is a hard thing indeed.

I don’t believe that I could handle it if I wasn’t a Christian. I live in the comfort that my mother knew the Lord, and that I will see her again.

The Bible makes this very clear. From the simple Psalm 68:20:

Our God is a God who saves;
from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death.

to the more complete and descriptive passage of 1 Thessalonians 4:15-17

According to the Lord’s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

My faith affirms her eternal salvation in Christ Jesus, and that speaks testament to the fact that we will have a family reunion one day.

Some would say that this is simplistic or childish or even worse, that I am full of denial about the finality of death.

I say rubbish – nature has no need of emotional ties or tears, and yet they exist. If people are only a complex mass of carbon and water, then why does their passing hurt so much? I say that it is because people are more than that; they have a soul that goes beyond the physical into the spiritual. And we love the soul, not the flesh.

Fortunately, we are like our Father in that – God loves the soul too, and sent his only Son to redeem it.

Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, he likewise shared in their humanity, so that through death he could destroy the one who holds the power of death (that is, the devil), and set free those who were held in slavery all their lives by their fear of death (Hebrews 2:14-15).

Even though my brother and I never made it to my Mom’s side before she passed, being a Christian means that there is no last goodbye – just an extended “See you soon…”

Thank God, because boy, do I miss my Mom.

The AP today covered a study from a researcher at the Ohio State University who finds that:

“a person who marries – and stays married – accumulates nearly twice
as much personal wealth as a person who is single or divorced.

And for those who divorce, it’s a bit more expensive than giving up
half of everything they own. They lose, on average, three-fourths of their
personal net worth.”

The article mentions a number of reasons why this might be the case, but the most interesting is that married people are more economically productive because they are working for something that is bigger than themselves – they are working for the welfare of their family.

I fully agree with that – I work much harder for my wife and daughter than I would ever work for myself. Left to my own devices, I’d live in a small shack with my Tivo and a PC, but that just won’t fly with a family. But is this the full story? Does what you learn by being married motivate and teach you to be more financially responsible, or is it that people who tend to have the skills for financial responsibility also have what it takes to make a relationship work and last? I don’t know that we’ll ever find out…

A few other things stuck out as noteworthy to me.

First, is the size and length of the study – 9,055 people from 1985 to 2000. WOW! That’s amazingly comprehensive – crap, the media quotes statistics from polls of 300 people as reflective of the almost 300 million people in the population. While this study may be a bit skewed for age it is probably the most accurate picture we’ll ever see on the matter, and is likely a lot more accurate many the statistics we are quoted on any number of topics.

Secondly, as a fairly new father, I found it interesting that this seems to fly in the face of the “kids are SO expensive” urban legend. That made me do some research – it seems that on average, a US family will spend a median of just over $200,000 to raise a 17 year old, or about $12,000 a year. Sounds like a lot of money, huh?

Consider that this cost includes things like housing and it starts to make more sense. To put it into some perspective, the average person will own about 3.5 cars over that same 17 year period. Given the average new car price of around $28,000 and they are spending $98,000 in cars. Oh, and those cars are financed, so that $98,000 over the 4-5 year loans that paid for them will actually cost you around $115,000. Now figure the gas, wear and tear, etc… You see where I’m going. It isn’t that expensive relative to other things in our lives.

What is amazing is that married people have more wealth and STILL spend over 200K raising each child. And what if you have a child out of wedlock? Hmm… Maybe it isn’t just a bad parenting idea, maybe its a bad financial decision as well. Given that children usually go to the mother in a divorce, these costs may explain why divorced women will have 2.5 times less wealth than divorced men.

The third thing that I found noteworthy, is the amount of wealth that these same people have accumulated. The study says that the participants had a median of $1,500 at the start of the study and finished up with $10,900 in the 15th year. Amazingly enough, this was 93% more than single or divorced people over the life of the study. Keep in mind that the study “defines wealth as the total value of a person’s assets, such as real estate, stocks and bank accounts, minus liabilities, such as mortgages.”

OK, I have to say that it scares the crap out of me that these participants, who are now 41 to 49 years old, have a median of only $10,900 in net worth. Oh, and the single and divorced people have 93% less! This doesn’t bode well for the future of our country – not when, as I mentioned before, the average car is over $28,000! After more than half a lifetime, a large majority of the people in America won’t even be able to pay cash for the average new car. They won’t even be able to buy half a car.

Something is seriously wrong with our spending habits. The 2002 Census says that the median household income is $42,614. Lets assume a household is 2 married people. So the 41 year old married person from the study had $639,210 come through their household in the 15 years of the study. Adjust down for inflation, etc and lets say (generously) that they had only $525,000 come through their household. Over half a million dollars, and all they have to show for it is $10,900.

This person’s individual savings rate is only 2.07%! In fact, its worse than that – the national savings rate is really only about 1.6%. This is horrible! In 1985, when this study began, the average savings rate was right under 11%. That’s a 687% drop! If we had continued with those numbers, the married person in question would have $57,750 in wealth, rather than just $10,900. A significant difference to be sure.

Anyway, I digress…

Its clear from this study that getting married, and staying married is a good financial decision. Hmm, go figure – traditional family values having a positive effect on both the individual and on society. Amazing how that works.